1. Watch "Garfunkel and Oates - Ex Boyfriend Song" on YouTube

    Garfunkel and Oates - Ex Boyfriend Song:

    My ex is getting married tomorrow, and this song sums up exactly how I feel about him.

    Fucking asshole.

  2. Reblogged from: theclutterbin
  3. The worst part of being a teacher is not getting to chaperone your kid’s field trip?

    A woman I know wrote this on FB and it’s just so irksome. The worst part of having a job (something not everyone has), the worst part of having a job you like (which not everyone has), is missing out on seeing your kid (which not everyone has) do something new. I am aware she doesn’t mean anything by it, but that’s how I read everything she posts when she writes crap like that. I have a job I like and I don’t want kids and she still manages to make me feel like I’m not accomplished, like I’m losing at life.

    Someone told me recently about an article that says FB is causing depression because of posts like the one my friend wrote. Because we only post highlights of the good things in our lives (for the most part) others see it as if they themselves are not doing as well and your happy posts make them feel like they are not doing enough, living enough, and that makes them sad, or, in my case irritated. And I write tirades on Tumblr.

    It feels like bragging. Even though that isn’t the intention, that’s the impact it has. We should think of our FB posts like sexual harassment, it’s not about intent, it’s about impact.

    Or we shouldn’t be FB friends with only lukewarm friends.

  4. I dreamt last night that you are pregnant.
    You are pregnant.
    I greeted your father with a hug and a kiss.
    We met in the rain.

    You were further along than
    You are in Real Life;
    It was raining outside the Symphony Hall.
    Your best friend was pregnant too.

    You’ve never met them, but they joined us.
    You asked me to guess which
    Is French Royalty.
    Neither have ever lived in France.

    It was raining outside Symphony Hall
    As you, your father, your best friend,
    My new friends, and I
    Attended the concert.

  5. Spooning is not sexual. Spooning is comforting. Spooning is loving. I want you to first go into the kitchen […] and look at the spoons. Take them out. Take two spoons out and fit one bowl into the other bowl of the spoon and you will see the bowls are very snug and together and very closely aligned. Whereas the bottom of the spoon, the ladle of the spoon, are straight and hardly touching. This is what we wish in a spoon.
    Kate Mulgrew on…spooning (NPR: How To Do Everything podcast, November 22, 2013)
    Reblogged from: deathorthetoypiano
  6. Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
    Edna St. Vincent Millay (via larmoyante)
    Reblogged from: englishmajorinrepair
  7. If I didn’t think, I’d be much happier.
    Sylvia Plath (via chorall)
    Reblogged from: englishmajorinrepair
  8. Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women for the money. And it made her miserable.

    As a young writer, Alcott concentrated on lurid pulp stories of revenge, murder, and adultery–“blood and thunder” literature, as she called it–and enjoyed writing very much. She was in her mid 30s when an editor suggested she try writing a book for girls. Alcott wasn’t very interested, but her father was a complete moron with money and had left the family in terrible financial trouble. Alcott wrote Little Women in hopes of some decent sales and a little breathing room and got way more than she asked for. The money in sequels was too good to turn down (and her father didn’t get any smarter with a dime), but Alcott hated writing what she called “moral pap for the young” and longed to return to the smut and violence of her early endeavors.
    Reblogged from: booksandghosts
  9. I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away.
    Vincent Van Gogh, a letter to his brother, Theo.  (via loieloie)
    Reblogged from: englishmajorinrepair
  10. Actual Phone Conversation

    • Telephone: Ring! Ring!
    • Moi: Hello?
    • Pollster: Hello, I'm [So-and-so] calling from ... Republican Candidate for Governor, can I ask you a question?
    • Moi: Sure?
    • Pollster: Have you considered who you are going to vote for in the upcoming election?
    • Moi: No? ... I have not.
    • Pollster: ... Ok, thank you.
    • +Click+
    • Moi: ....

Literary Bex

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